


Behind the Mask

by mithrel



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blanket Permission, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-17
Updated: 2009-10-17
Packaged: 2017-10-30 08:06:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana drags Arthur to a masked ball, and he meets someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind the Mask

“I can’t believe you dragged me here,” Arthur complained to his sister.

Morgana’s eyes sparkled with mischief, all he could see of her face underneath the peacock mask she wore. “What? It’ll be fun.”

Arthur snorted. “It most certainly will not be _fun!_ How you convinced me to come along…”

“Could it be that I threatened to tell your boss where you really were that week you called in sick?” Morgana replied innocently.

Arthur scowled. Really whoever heard of a _masked ball_ nowadays? As they entered the hotel, they passed an elaborate gold-framed floor length mirror. Morgana was wearing gauzy shades of blue, green and purple, her black hair bound on top of her head with some sort of jewelled sticks, wearing a blue and purple feathered peacock mask.

Arthur wore a red and gold dragon mask that wrapped around his head, loose red trousers with gold embroidery at the cuffs and some sort of a red and gold tunic…vest…thing, he didn’t even know. Morgana had declared that he was taking her to the masquerade or else, and presented him with the costume. He would have been humiliated except no one would recognise him with the mask on.

“Cheer up, Arthur! You might even enjoy yourself.”

“I doubt it,” he muttered. A bunch of people in weird costumes dancing around was not the type of thing he considered enjoyable.

“Whatever, if you’re going to be like that, I’ll find someone more fun!” And Morgana was gone.

Arthur sighed and drifted over to the side of the ballroom to wait. The masquerade would go until midnight, which left him with several hours of standing around.

He cast his eyes over the crowd. Morgana was dancing with a man in a rooster mask in the corner. There were feathers and sequins and sashes and God knew what all. He sighed.

The song ended, and the dancers moved over to the refreshment table, found new partners or waited for the next one.

A man wearing an eagle mask came over to him. “You want to dance?”

Arthur gaped at him. He was a complete stranger, a _male_ stranger, and this man was asking him to dance?

Arthur almost told him “No,” but something stopped him. After all, what was the harm? They were both masked, and they’d probably never see each other again. He’d never consider it under normal circumstances; after all, he was only attracted to women…but then it was just a dance…even if it was a slow dance…

The man waited, patiently, while Arthur deliberated. “Alright,” he said finally. “But I get to lead!”

The man laughed. “Fair enough.”

As the band began a waltz, they moved over to the dance floor. The man put his hand on Arthur’s waist as Arthur awkwardly took his hand. He faltered on the first few steps.

“Don’t dance much, do you?” the man teased, his eyes twinkling behind the mask. They were very blue, Arthur noticed.

“Not with men, no,” he agreed, settling down. He did know how to dance, he just didn’t do it often. And this was the first time he’d ever done something like this.

His partner, on the other hand, was clumsy. He stepped on Arthur’s feet, and couldn’t keep time. Arthur rolled his eyes. “And you criticise _my_ dancing?”

“I haven’t danced like this in years!” his partner said defensively.

“Are you here with anyone? A girlfriend?” Obviously not, or he wouldn’t be dancing with Arthur, but he needed to say something.

The man shook his head. “I came with my friend. She’s here somewhere. What about you?”

Arthur made a face, although his mask would cover it. “My sister blackmailed me into taking her.”

The man laughed again. He had a nice laugh. “What, you mean you wouldn’t come here for fun?”

“ _No!_ ” Arthur snapped.

His partner blinked, behind the mask. “Just asking.”

“Sorry. No, this isn’t my idea of fun.”

The dance ended, and Arthur went to move back off the floor.

“You’re not done already, are you?”

“Why?” Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

The man shrugged. “I’d like to dance with you again.”

 _No. Once was enough. Too much._ “OK.”

In the next dance his partner didn’t step on his feet, which Arthur was just as grateful for.

“So what’s your name?”

Arthur shook his head. “Masked ball, remember? No one is supposed to know who you are.”

The man shrugged again. “Suit yourself.”

It was awkward dancing like this. They were very close together, close enough that Arthur could feel the heat coming from the other man. He studied what he could see of his face. Blue eyes, black hair behind his mask, and big ears. Thankfully he wasn’t any closer than necessary. If he’d nestled against him or something outrageous like that Arthur would have walked away.

He looked around again. Morgana was dancing with another man, this one in a black robe and death mask. He sighed.

“OK?”

Arthur shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“Is it really that bad?” his partner enquired.

Arthur smiled reluctantly. “No, I guess not.”

When the dance ended, he headed over to the refreshment table. The man followed. Arthur suppressed a flash of annoyance. He’d agreed to one dance, been persuaded to two. He didn’t intend to spend the whole night with this man. He hadn’t intended to dance at all.

He picked up a cup of punch and a small sandwich on a napkin and moved out of the way. The man who’d danced with him took a cup and followed him.

“Didn’t you say you came with a friend?” Arthur asked desperately.

The man nodded. “She seems to be having fun. She’s over there.” He pointed, and Arthur saw a woman in a cat mask with long curly black hair dancing in a corner.

Arthur gulped down his punch, and nibbled on his sandwich, but he had no appetite. He shouldn’t have agreed to dance with this guy. He should have known better.

Another song started up. “You want to dance?”

The man nodded, smiling brilliantly.

***

Arthur lost track of time, until the music stopped and a voice announced, “All right, ladies and gentlemen, it’s midnight. Time to unmask!”

Arthur froze. He’d forgotten that the masks came off at midnight. All around him people removed their masks, including his partner. He raised an eyebrow curiously. “Well?”

Reluctantly, Arthur took off his mask. He was sure everyone was looking at him, knowing what he’d been doing, despite all evidence to the contrary.

His partner smiled at him. “I think we’re supposed to kiss now.”

Arthur felt the blood drain from his face and he took a step back.

“Whoa, relax! It was a joke!”

Arthur looked around for Morgana, refusing to look at his partner.

“I’m Merlin,” his partner offered, holding out a hand. Arthur blinked, then reluctantly shook it.

“Uh…”

“Arthur!”

He winced. Morgana had found him. Her face was flushed, and her eyes shone. “Looks like you enjoyed yourself after all! Who’s your friend?”

“Uh…uh this is…”

“Merlin,” Merlin said, holding out a hand.

Morgana shook it. “Pleased to meet you. I’m Morgana.”

“We should go,” Arthur said.

“Hang on a sec,” Merlin said, and produced a pen and a slip of paper from somewhere, scribbling on it. “That’s my mobile number. Call me, yeah?” he asked, pressing it into Arthur’s hand.

And he was gone as if by magic, leaving Arthur gaping.

***

Arthur kept the paper. He didn’t know why. For a week after the masquerade he kept taking it out and looking at it, then stuffing it back in the drawer.

Twice he picked up the phone and pressed three numbers before hanging up in panic. What was he doing? He didn’t know this Merlin at all, why would he want to see him again?

Finally he decided the hell with it. He dialled the number and waited, willing himself not to hang up. Three rings. Four. Then Merlin’s voicemail picked up.

“Hi, Merlin, it’s Arthur. I was wondering if…that is…oh hell!” He hung up the phone and tossed the number in the rubbish bin.

He did his best to forget about it, but the next day the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Arthur?”

He nearly dropped the phone.

“You called me?”

_No, no, no!_

“Hello?” Merlin asked.

“Yeah–” his voice cracked, and he coughed. “Yeah, I called. I don’t even know why.”

“I gathered that.” He could _hear_ Merlin’s smile. How was that possible? “So, do you want to get together again?”

“No!” _Stupid, stupid, you shouldn’t have called him._

Merlin sighed. “OK, I get it. You’re Mr. Macho, 100% heterosexual, captain of the football team, break all the girl’s hearts. But you were dancing with me.”

“No one knew it was me!” he blurted, then winced.

“Which is why you freaked when the masks came off,” Merlin said, half to himself. “OK, how about this? We get together for coffee, neutral territory, two guys, nothing weird about it.”

Arthur swallowed. “OK.”

“So, Saturday? At, say, three? That place near King’s College, next to the Chinese takeaway?”

Arthur nodded. “OK.”

When he hung up the phone his hand was shaking.

***

By Saturday he’d worked himself into a near panic. Merlin was gay, it was obvious he was gay, and there was nothing wrong with that, of course not, not what Arthur himself would do, but still fine. And of course he could have a gay friend, just because he never had before didn’t mean anything, and Merlin was a nice guy, and they were just meeting for coffee…

He stared at the clock. One o’clock. One thirty. Two o’clock. Two fifteen. He should leave soon, he’d be late… Two thirty. Did he really want to go? He’d only met the guy once, after all…

At two forty-five he sighed, picked up his keys and left.

He got to the coffee shop at five after, and spent another five minutes convincing himself not to drive home again.

When he walked in, Merlin waved to him. “I wasn’t sure you’d show up!” he said, as Arthur approached the table.

“Neither was I,” Arthur confessed.

Merlin was already sipping on a drink.

“I’m going to get something, be right back.”

He stood in the short queue, trying to calm his racing heart. This was totally normal, just two guys meeting, nothing sexual about it.

“What’ll you have?” the barista asked when he got to the counter.

“Medium café mocha,” Arthur said.

As he handed over his money, he looked at Merlin, sipping his drink. He could do this.

He got his mocha and headed back to the table.

“What’d you get?” Merlin asked.

“Café mocha.”

“Ah, a chocolate fiend.”

“Not really. How about you?”

“Iced caramel macchiato.”

An awkward silence fell then.

“Are you gay?” Arthur demanded, then flushed painfully.

Merlin, however, only set down his drink and looked at him seriously. “Yes. Does that bother you?”

“No! I-I mean it’s none of my business what you do…I mean…” Arthur stopped, blushing again.

“Good,” Merlin said. “I’d hate to think you were homophobic. There are a lot of arseholes out there, but you seem like a decent guy.”

“Thanks,” Arthur said, more pleased than he should be.

“So, now that’s out of the way,” Merlin said, his eyes twinkling, “You said your sister forced you to go to the–”

“Yeah,” Arthur cut him off. “I called in sick for a week at work so I could help a friend move house and she threatened to tell my boss.”

Merlin snorted into the last of his drink. “Remind me never to cross her.” He looked at Arthur curiously. “He couldn’t have done it some other time?”

Arthur shook his head. “He was going to be evicted. Long story.”

Merlin nodded. “Gwen heard about it, and thought it’d be fun, and she asked me.”

“It was fun,” Arthur said. “I mean, if you enjoy prancing about in fancy dress, which I don’t.”

Merlin smiled slightly. “Yeah.”

Another silence descended, less awkward than the first. Arthur kept thinking of things to say to break it, but they all revealed too much. He hardly knew Merlin after all; he shouldn’t blab his life story to him. “So why Merlin?”

“What?”

“The name. Why Merlin?”

Merlin laughed, and Arthur took another drink of his coffee, spluttering slightly as he drank too fast. “I honestly don’t know. It would have been a lot easier if my parents had given me a normal name, especially considering…”

Arthur nodded. “Yeah, that’d be a bit much on top of everything else.”

Arthur finished his coffee and got up to throw the cup away. “Take mine too would you?” Merlin asked.

“Sure.”

He sat down again, debating with himself, then finally asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Not at the moment. Why?”

“No reason,” Arthur mumbled. “I should get going.”

“OK. We should do this again, yeah?” Merlin asked.

Arthur nodded. “Oh! Can you give me your number again?”

Merlin cocked his head at him, but didn’t comment. “Sure,” he said, scribbling it on a napkin.

***

The next week he called Merlin, and they went out for coffee again. He didn’t hear from him after that until Merlin called him and invited him to a concert he was playing in. “Nothing fancy, it’s strictly amateurs.”

“What do you play?” Arthur asked, surprised.

“Violin,” Merlin replied. “So do you want to go?”

“Uh…sure.”

Merlin gave him the details.

***

Arthur pulled up to Morgana’s flat. He’d invited her on impulse; he didn’t think Merlin would mind.

“A concert, Arthur?” she asked when she opened the door. “Doesn’t sound like you.”

“Shut up,” Arthur muttered. She’d given him enough grief already.

As they drove toward the park, where the concert was being held, Morgana asked “So you really like this guy, huh?”

“What? No, don’t be ridiculous Morgana! We’re friends, that’s all!”

Morgana shrugged.

They got to the park, where bleachers had been set up. Not many people were there yet, so they got a seat near the front. There were lights everywhere, illuminating the area where the orchestra was tuning up. Arthur picked Merlin out immediately, rubbing something on his bow.

A few moments later the conductor came out, and tapped his baton on the stand. Immediately the rustling stopped, and all the musicians were intent.

They started playing, and Arthur focussed on Merlin. There was a look of intense concentration on his face. His bow moved in synch with the people to his left and right, and the violin he was playing bobbed up and down slightly. It was an odd piece, involving shuffling feet and plucking strings. Arthur hadn’t even known violins could be plucked.

When it was over the crowd applauded, Arthur along with them.

The next piece they played was familiar, but Arthur didn’t know the name of it. Something by Bach or Mozart or one of those people. The one after that he did know, since it was in so many movies: Canon in D. The orchestra played three pieces after that, before they stood up to take their bows. Arthur applauded politely, mindful of Morgana next to him.

They waited on the lawn afterwards, as the musicians packed up and people drifted away.

Merlin picked up his case, scanning the remaining people. He smiled when he saw Arthur. “You came!”

“Yeah,” Arthur mumbled.

“Hello again, Merlin,” Morgana said.

Merlin’s eyes flicked toward Arthur. “Nice to see you again, Morgana.”

“Arthur invited me. I hope you don’t mind.”

Again Merlin darted a glance at Arthur, who avoided his eyes. “No, I don’t mind. So what’d you think?” he continued.

“It was…nice,” Arthur said.

Morgana snorted. “Honestly, Arthur, it was more than ‘nice’! How long have you played?” she asked Merlin.

As Merlin answered, “Three years or so. I started in university,” Arthur took a moment to regret bringing Morgana along. He’d thought she’d serve as…insurance. Against what, he didn’t know. But he couldn’t react properly with her there.

“That first piece was interesting,” he said. “I didn’t know violins could be plucked.”

Merlin nodded. “It’s called pizzicato. It isn’t used often, but some pieces have it.”

“It was nice,” Arthur repeated lamely. “You’re pretty good.”

Merlin smiled ironically, looking at Morgana. “Thank you.”

“So do you want to get some dinner or something?” Morgana asked, and Arthur froze.

Merlin thought about it a moment, eyes on Arthur. “No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty tired; I was just going to go home. But thanks for the offer.”

Arthur sighed inaudibly.

“Nice to see you again, Arthur,” Merlin said, holding out his hand.

Bemused, Arthur shook it, then they left.

***

Merlin didn’t call him again. Arthur thought he might be angry about him inviting Morgana to the concert. For whatever reason, he was just as glad. There’d been indications before, but he’d ignored them as best he could. His father would hit the ceiling…

And there was no one he could talk to. Not many of his friends would be willing to listen to the fact that he was having a sexual identity crisis. He couldn’t talk to Merlin–he was the reason for it. And Morgana… He shuddered at the thought.

He decided to ignore it, ignore the dreams which had surfaced again, dreams he hadn’t had since he was a teenager, dreams which featured gangly limbs, deep blue eyes and black hair…

But he started dozing off at work, and his boss called him into her office.

“Are you alright, Arthur?” she asked.

“Fine,” he muttered, staring at the floor.

“Only people have seen you falling asleep. Is something going on?”

She sounded concerned, rather than angry, but he couldn’t tell her he was afraid to sleep. “No, nothing’s going on. I just haven’t been sleeping well lately, is all.”

She frowned. “Well, do something about it, alright? I don’t want to have to let you go, but I can’t tolerate people sleeping on the job.”

He nodded. “Thanks.” _‘Do something about it.’ Right._

***

The next day was Saturday, and that morning he gritted his teeth and called Merlin.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Merlin.”

“Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed. “How are you?”

Well, he sounded pleased to hear from him, at any rate. Arthur sighed, and sat on the bed. “Not good.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s…complicated. Can we get together?”

“Sure,” Merlin said immediately. “Do you want to get coffee, or…”

Arthur shuddered. “No. It’s…I need to talk to you in private. Can you come over?”

“OK, sure. Arthur, are you OK? I mean, nothing’s happened?”

“No, not…not really.” Arthur sighed, and gave him his address.

“OK. Be over in about half an hour.”

***

When the doorbell rang, Arthur answered it with a knot in his stomach.

“What’s going on?” Merlin demanded, as he sat on Arthur’s sofa.

Arthur paced, waving his hands aimlessly. “Like I said, it’s complicated. I mean, I had before, but I didn’t want to admit it, because my father would freak, but then I met you and it started again, and I can’t sleep because of the dreams, and I got in trouble at work, and I can’t talk to anyone and I don’t know what to do!” _God, I’m babbling._

Merlin sat for a moment, brow furrowed, his lips moving slightly, then he said. “So, when you say ‘before’…?”

“When I was a teenager. But I ignored it.”

“‘It’?”

Arthur didn’t answer.

Merlin sighed. “OK, so are you saying you were attracted to men before?”

“No! Not…” Arthur turned to face him. “Not…specific men, but…”

Merlin nodded. “And it’s started again.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if it’s interfering with your life, you have to do something about it.”

“I can’t!” Arthur protested, appalled. “My father–”

“Hell with your father!” Merlin said. “You’re an adult. He doesn’t have to know if you don’t want him to!”

“But–” _He’d find out. He finds out_ everything!

Merlin sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “You said it started again once you met me?”

Arthur nodded.

“And was it…ah…specific this time?” Merlin asked.

Arthur nodded again, staring at the floor. “I’m still not sure. I mean, I’ve never…”

“One way to know for sure, isn’t there?”

Arthur stared at him. “Are you suggesting…”

Merlin shrugged. “Why not? You’re an attractive enough guy, and this way at least you’d know.”

Arthur blushed furiously. “But I can’t just…”

“Why not?” Merlin repeated. “Either you get it out of your system, or you don’t. At least you’d know for sure.”

“I…but…I don’t even know what…”

“Most things are similar enough, at least at the level you’d likely be comfortable with.”

 _I can’t do this. I can’t. My father… But I have to do_ something, _it’s driving me insane, and he offered…_ “No strings attached?” he asked. _That’s the last thing I want, for him to fall in love with me or something, after I decide it’s not what I want._

“No strings attached,” Merlin confirmed.

Arthur gulped and squared his shoulders. “OK.”

Merlin approached him, slowly. “You’re calling the shots. Tell me if I cross a line.”

Arthur nodded.

Merlin leaned in and kissed him, softly.

Arthur tensed.

“Relax,” Merlin whispered against his lips.

He did, slowly. It wasn’t much different than kissing a woman, after all. Merlin’s lips were chapped, but that didn’t make any difference. After a long moment, Arthur kissed him back.

Merlin’s hands had been resting on the small of his back, and at that they twitched slightly.

Arthur pulled back after a moment. “So far so good.”

Merlin smiled. “You want to take it a bit further?”

Arthur nodded.

Merlin leaned in and kissed him again, and this time his tongue licked at the seam of Arthur’s lips. Arthur opened his mouth, hesitantly, and Merlin flicked his tongue inside before retreating again. Arthur moved his own tongue into Merlin’s mouth, exploring, and Merlin made an appreciative noise. He tasted like orange juice and coffee, with a hint of toothpaste.

Arthur pulled back and kissed along Merlin’s jaw and down his throat. Merlin gasped and his hands fisted in Arthur's T-shirt, then ran underneath it, along his back.

Arthur pulled away, and Merlin tugged slightly at his T-shirt, his eyes questioning. Arthur nodded, and Merlin pulled it off.

Arthur was definitely interested, and he wanted to see more of Merlin, so he pulled Merlin’s T-shirt off and looked at him.

He was skinny, without much hair, and very obviously male.

Merlin grinned at him. “You can touch me, you know.”

So he ran his hands over Merlin’s chest, dipping down below the waistband of his jeans. Merlin gasped and his hips bucked forward, and Arthur groaned at the friction.

“God, Arthur…” Merlin locked eyes with him, and said, “Bed.”

Arthur nodded, stepping reluctantly away. Merlin’s skin was flushed, his lips red and his hair slightly mussed. He looked like sex on legs.

Once they were in his bedroom, Arthur hesitated, suddenly uncomfortable again. But Merlin came over to him and stroked his back until he relaxed.

Merlin unbuttoned the fly on his jeans and Arthur groaned, thrusting his hips forward. Merlin laughed softly.

Arthur sat down on the bed and toed off his trainers. Merlin pushed his jeans down and off, then took off his own jeans, his trainers landing where he kicked them.

Arthur stared. Merlin _was_ skinny, but the sight of him nearly naked, pupils blown, a bulge in his briefs–one that Arthur had put there–was almost too much. He swallowed.

Merlin pressed him down onto the bed, and Arthur stiffened, wondering where this was going to go.

“Relax,” Merlin whispered against his throat. “I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Arthur nodded.

Merlin kissed him again, and this time Arthur didn’t hesitate in kissing him back.

Merlin licked down Arthur’s throat, sucking at the hollow of his collarbone, and Arthur groaned.

Then Merlin moved over to his nipple, and Arthur’s hands fisted in his hair. He was no longer worrying, no longer thinking at all.

Merlin licked down his stomach, and Arthur lifted his hips up so Merlin could remove his briefs. “Let me?” Merlin whispered, and Arthur nodded.

When Merlin’s lips closed over his cock, he groaned again. He’d had blowjobs before, but not like this. He supposed it was because Merlin had firsthand experience, but he was good, swirling his tongue around him, pulling back to lick and mouth at the head, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked.

Arthur tapped his shoulder in warning after only a few minutes, but Merlin just hummed. Arthur came down his throat, arching up off the bed.

Merlin pulled off him, and came up to kiss him. “Well?”

“Well…?” Arthur repeated, dazed.

Merlin smiled indulgently. “Well, how was it?”

“It was…nice,” Arthur hedged.

“More or less nice than blowjobs you’ve had from women?”

“I…don’t know.” Arthur looked at Merlin then, and realised he was still turned on. _God, what are you doing only thinking of yourself…._ “What should I…?”

Merlin shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

Arthur carefully peeled off Merlin’s briefs, taking a moment to drink in the sight of him. He was hard, and leaking, and Arthur gingerly took hold of his cock.

Merlin threw his head back and gasped. Encouraged, Arthur increased the pressure.

“God, Arthur,” Merlin whispered. “So good.”

He twisted his wrist a little, and Merlin bucked up into him with a groan. Arthur was carefully not thinking about what he was doing, as Merlin writhed and moaned under him, but when he stiffened and came into Arthur’s hand Arthur snatched it away.

 _Oh God, what did I do, what was I_ thinking?

Merlin must have seen the expression on his face, because he said, “I should go,” and got up from the bed.

“You don’t have–”

“No, it’s OK,” Merlin said, picking up his clothes and leaving the room.

Arthur heard water running in the bathroom, then a few moments later the door opened and shut.

***

On Monday Arthur managed to keep himself awake at work, but he was even more preoccupied. He’d tried to call Merlin, but kept hanging up the phone before he could finish dialling.

_What do I say? ‘Thanks for having sex with me, but I don’t want to do it again’? ‘Sorry I freaked out but that was the best sex I’ve ever had’?_

Because it was, and he was having trouble dealing with it. He hoped Merlin would call him, so they could talk about this.

But he didn’t call for a week, and after two weeks had gone by Arthur decided he wasn’t going to. _He was patient with me and I was selfish, and then I panicked like an idiot. He probably doesn’t want anything to do with me._

He still couldn’t bring himself to call Merlin, so there was only one alternative.

“Morgana? Can you come over?”

***

“What’s going on?” Morgana asked as he let her into his flat. “You sounded strange on the phone.”

Arthur braced himself. “Merlin and I had sex. I mean we didn’t fuck but we had sex and then I freaked out and he left and he hasn’t called so he must hate me, and Father is going to freak because I’m gay–”

“Whoa, whoa, back up!” Morgana said, holding up her hands. “You and Merlin had _sex?!_ ”

Arthur nodded.

“When?”

“Two weeks ago. And–”

Morgana cut him off before he could start babbling again. “I think you’d better start at the beginning.”

So Arthur told her everything, from the masque to what happened two weeks ago.

“And he let me take the lead, and didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do, and then I freaked out and he left and now he hates me!”

“What makes you think he hates you?” Morgana asked.

“He hasn’t called…”

“Arthur,” Morgana sighed. “Everything you told me points to Merlin wanting to make sure you didn’t have a problem with anything. He never pressured you into anything, did he?”

Arthur shook his head. “That’s why–”

“So he’s probably waiting for you to get your head on straight and decide if you want to have anything to do with him.”

“You think so?” Arthur asked hopefully.

She nodded.

“But I can’t call him! What if you’re wrong? And what do I say? What if–”

“Let me make it easy for you,” she interrupted. “Either you call Merlin and talk to him, or I call Father and tell him you slept with a guy.”

Arthur stared at her. “You wouldn’t!”

Morgana raised an eyebrow, and Arthur sagged. “But–” he began, knowing it was useless.

“This is a good thing, Arthur. You slept your way through half the girls at university, but you never had a real _relationship_. It was like you had something to prove. And I’ve seen you with Merlin, you look happy.”

“But I can’t be gay!”

“Why not? What’s wrong with it?”

“I…” Arthur thought. “I guess nothing. But Father…”

“Won’t know unless you force me to tell him.”

“He’ll find out,” Arthur said miserably. “You know how he is.”

“Not if you’re careful,” Morgana said. “He doesn’t have to know anything about Merlin.”

Arthur sighed. “I guess so.”

“So are you going to call Merlin and talk, or will Father find out after all?”

Arthur stared at his sister, then finally shook his head. “Alright, alright, I’ll call him.”

Morgana smiled. “Good.”

***

Arthur steeled himself, and dialled the phone. It rang twice before Merlin picked up.

“Arthur!”

 _He doesn’t sound angry._ “Hi.”

“How are you?” Merlin asked quietly.

“Alright.” Arthur paused. “Sorry I freaked out.”

“I was expecting it. Same thing happened to me, the first time. I think it’s part of the process.”

Arthur laughed.

“So you’re OK with what happened?” Merlin pressed.

“I…yeah. Sorry I didn’t call sooner.”

“It’s fine. You needed time to adjust.”

“You’re too patient. You should be angry,” Arthur complained.

“Why?”

“Because I used you as an experiment and then freaked out, and didn’t call you until my sister threatened to tell my father I slept with a guy!”

Merlin choked. “So Morgana knows?” he asked, when he got his breath back.

Arthur nodded. “Yeah.”

“What does she think of it?”

“She thinks that it’s ‘a good thing’ and that I’m ‘happy’ with you.” Arthur snorted.

“Are you?”

Arthur thought about it for a long moment. “I suppose.”

“Would you like to do anything like that again?”

“I…maybe. Yes. I don’t know!”

“OK. So we take it one step at a time and see where it goes?”

One step at a time. He could do that. “OK.”


End file.
